We’ve all heard that there are idealists and realists in the world. Probably my family and friends would rather classify me as the first one. Maybe this is the impression which I give. That is why I know what is a common reaction for the idealists’ lifestyle. “It’s pitiable and other-worldly! Life is brutal and if you don’t know it yet, it means that you haven’t grown up yet! Wait, one day you will understand what I’m saying!”
How do I describe my idealism?
For me, the funniest part is the conviction that if someone is an idealist, it means that he/she doesn’t know the sorrow difficulties of life. Let me tell something about me then.
- I would not call myself idealist. Maybe I’m close to something which I’d call a “realist idealism“. Well, recently I’ve written my bucket list and there was nothing like a travel to the Moon, climbing Kilimanjaro and diving in the coral reef. Do I think that such dreams are impossible? Of course they aren’t! But I also believe that our dreams should be connected to our personality. Therefore, if I really was passionate of the Universe, I probably would not be passionate for mountains and oceans. Whereas the dreams which are connected to our personality actually ARE realizable.
- For a few years I’ve been working as a volunteer in different fields. I could get to know a different human experience and problems and tried to understand them. I was helping out the kids who had problems at school, executed a few projects with elder and desolate people (sometimes also disabled), worked for one year in a tiny town in the end of the world as an animator for children and youths, translated for some development projects in Arabic countries and worked for half a year with refugees in Jordan. Ah, I forgot about a few weeks in orphan house.
I guess it’s clear now why do I smile ironically when someone accuses me of being “too idealist and childish”?
Let’s see what do “the adults” actually resign when they decide to mature and forget their dreams.
Trap of realism
- Very often they become embittered. “The adult” left their dreams in the name of the “Adulthood”, but these dreams are actually still hidden somewhere inside. Have you heard of this famous article of one nurse who worked with the elders? It’s been very popular on the internet. She was spending their last moments with them. Many of them regretted to “live dreams of somebody else instead of living theirs'”. Well, dear “Adults”…
- … they live according to a common scheme. I CAN work and be a perfect mother with always clean house and perfect hairstyle! Are these your dreams? Who do you want to satisfy?
If we know from the beginning that something is wrong with this “adulthood”, why do we claim a (realist) idealism to be a childishness?
Dark colours of the world
Psychologists call it the “Drama Triangle”. Victim- Persecutor – Rescuer. The “adults” very often act the “Victim” paper. While the circumstances are their Persecutor. I had a difficult childhood! She made her dreams come true because she is lucky and I’m not! Her parents were paying for everything! Dreaming? Just wait, life will show you there is no point in dreaming! Etc.
Well… One of my recent dreams was to become a coach. And yes, I got a course and try to make my first steps which is of course not easy for a beginner, but it doesn’t matter. One of the most important thing I’ve learnt was to ask irritating questions and not listening to excuses. Therefore as a beginner coach I’m asking – What can you start doing / stop doing / do more / do different to get closer to your dreams today?
Really REALLY nothing? Well, I don’t believe 😉